Awakening

I hear this a lot.

When I subtly mention our reality to others from my perspective and ask the question “Why isn’t this important to you?“, I often get a similar reply:

“I’m too busy and don’t have the time to focus on spiritual stuff with the time commitments of work and family.”

All answers are valid.

And for awhile I have held back saying nothing because I’m in a situation where the work I have done for the past 15 years (eCommerce) has afforded me the privilege to think about other things now.

While I still spend 6-8 hours most days on my online businesses… previously I would spend 12 hours or more on my work without allowing time for asking the big life questions.

I distracted myself with work.

I say “distracted myself” because that’s exactly what I was doing. Instead of working on myself, discovering and letting go of past traumas, connecting with the energy around me, learning about who I was, etc… I decided to push all that deep down and focus on the materialistic world out of fear.

I was in total fear for no reason.

I was in fear that if I didn’t work I would be homeless. I was in fear that if I wasn’t distracted that my mind would go down a dark path of depression. I felt I had to distract myself in order to keep the sadness and depression away.

Deep down I always knew there was something left to uncover. I always felt I was missing something but I didn’t know what that was. Imagine knowing there is something more to who you are and your reality but you didn’t know what or even how to discover what that was. I didn’t even know the question to ask and that is the most important part!

A few years ago I went searching for that missing thing. I switched from reading business and money books to reading books about life purpose. While not the books I needed it was a start.

The first that really started getting my head out of the materialistic work and started to think about possible questions that I would ponder later was the book: The Wealthy Gardener: Life Lessons on Prosperity Between Father and Son

It’s not a spiritual book. Instead it was more about financial freedom because that was the stage of life I was heading towards. However it added life lessons in it that sparked something in me.. purpose.

What is the purpose of life if all you do is work? I knew life was more than that but I was too afraid to face that.

A little about myself.. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My parents were mentally and physically abuse towards me and my siblings. We were ignored and treated like an afterthought most days. My mom was the type that yelled at you for everything. Every morning for years she would literally yell at the top of her lungs to wake us up for school in the morning.

It was challenging times to say the least.

Would I change that? No. I wouldn’t be as sensitive as I am today to energy if I hadn’t learned how to sense when either my mom or dad was in a bad mood. I wouldn’t have learned how to become the observer and neutral with others. And so many more lessons.

Did it cause trauma? Well yes, but I don’t like that word because it’s only trauma if you keep it in that state. If you decide to hold on to that trauma and let it define you, it will affect how you see the world.

It wasn’t until I learned to see that trauma as lessons and redefine them that I could free myself.

I thought I was working due to fear of being homeless when in reality I had millions in the bank (from overworking myself), two paid off rental properties, a beautiful house and everything I could have wanted. There was absolutely zero reason why I should have been fearful of being homeless and broke. It had to be something else.

That’s when I discovered The Healthy Gamer YouTube channel that talked about mental health.

This guy here… I started to get addicted to his psychiatric videos where he would have sessions with popular Twitch streamers and gamers. I watched many of his videos and put myself in the shoes as his patients. As I did that I was able to uncover my past traumas and over a period of 6 months forgive myself, forgive others and redefine those traumas as lessons so I could let them go and integrate new mindsets.

Again, not spiritual but (as that was not the path I was on at the time) but hugely beneficial in my ability to let go of things that limited my spiritual journey.

When you have all this past trauma you carry with you it’s like seeing the world in a fog. These traumas define your reality. It’s only when you can redefine them to something that is beneficial to you that you start manifesting the reality you truly desire.

Why should you care? If you’re in a place in your life where you are depressed, sad, aimless, feel disconnected, distracted, etc. Then it’s a good idea to look within and start asking Why.

Why am I distracting myself? Why am I fearful? Why am I doing this or that that causes pain? Identify the source.

Once you identify the source, then you can redefine it.

The easiest way I found to release trauma is realizing who I am in the first place. Please read this foundation of reality guide here for a deeper understanding. Once you realize who you are, you realize that all is purposeful for your growth. All things are valid. You can then turn from being a victim to being the neutral observer and turn your perceived weakness into your strengths.

Why should you care? To heal yourself. To connect with yourself. To realize who you and stop letting other define you. To take your power back.

Thanks for reading!